Road to Radical Visibility Show/Podcast
Road to Radical Visibility Show/Podcast
10 Things I Never Expected Turning 52 - The Joy & Pain
This episode is jammed packed! I officially turned 52 this last week and well to say that things have been "coming up" is an understatement.
In this episode, I, Rachel Freemon Sowers share 10 unexpected things I have experienced at age 52. I'm sharing with you the real and raw truths of life. There is no fluff only empowerment. No shining 'oh, look at me and my perfect life' that you see so often on social media. Nope just the truth, abundance and sometimes pain of navigating real life, creating freedom and finally living life exactly the way you want to.
You and I will ride the wave of joy and sadness in this episode.
Out of everything I hope that you walk away with a spark to create the life you want at any age and well if your in your 50's like me to realize that 'if not now then when'?
Cause friend, we are not getting any younger. It's time to LIVE ALL OUT!
Takeaways:
Focus on how you want to experience your life.
Embrace the unexpected changes and challenges of menopause.
Don't be afraid to share TMI and enjoy good sex.
Accept and navigate distant relationships with loved ones.
Feel empowered to say no and prioritize your own needs.
Cultivate deep and meaningful connections with others.
Learn to receive love, abundance, and generosity from others.
Make a positive impact on the lives of others.
Embrace new opportunities and break your own rules.
Experience life exactly the way you want.
Life is to short to not experience it the way you want. Like I mentioned in the podcast, I have been using MagicMind for increased focus, energy, productivity and over all wellness. With a product that is full of specifically formulated to help you focus and be more productive without the surge or the slump. Another massive plus is that It’s been easy to incorporate with my morning routine. Literally, reach in the fridge, give it a little shake, open and drink. All the goodness in one little shot.
Give it a try and when you use this code you can enjoy up to 20% off of your order by using code ROADRADICAL20 at www.magicmind.com/roadradical at checkout.
Cheers to living your life, exactly the way you want! Feeling good, like you should.
Did you have an Ah-Ha moment from this episode? I would love to hear about it! No seriously, I want to hear from you! Send me a DM or email at rachel@rachelfreemonsowers.com.
Watch more self-empowering content on my YouTube Channel.
Want more inspiration and empowerment connect with me on social:
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#LGBTQ+ #LGBTQ+business #visibilitymatters #timetoshine #RoadtoRadicalVisibility #RachelFreemonSowers
I don't always have to be there for everyone. It's okay for me to be like no, it's not, it's not going to work for me and it's not like no fuck, no, like I don't have any more fucks to give, I don't care about anything. It's not that. It's more like hey, you know what, maybe it'll work out a different time, but right now it's not going to work out for me To send that text and not be thinking or have the thought of well, we should have, well, we could have, like all that's gone.
Speaker 1:Hello, my beautiful friends, and welcome to another episode of Road to Radical Visibility. My name is Rachel Freeman Sowers, your host and creator of this podcast, and I'm excited for today's episode. This little episode again is going to be a little bit different. I'm having just a lot of fun playing with whatever I want to talk about and whatever I want to play with in these episodes. I hope that you're enjoying them too. If you are, let me know, hit that subscribe button and make sure to follow.
Speaker 1:So today's episode is all about 10 things I never expected at age 52. I'm turning 52 in three days and I'm telling you. The overall thing about this is that I never thought that my life would look like this. I never thought I could be this way. I never thought that I would reach a point to where well, I don't want to give it all away, that I would reach a point to where, well, I don't want to give it all away. And I'm going to list the 10 things, and I hope that in some way, they inspire you today to be like let me look and see all the things that are going right, but also let me look and see the things that I've learned that have really allowed me to experience my life the way that I want to. And these 10 things I'm going to tell you right now. There's going to be things that are positive, and there's going to be things that have been not what I had expected and not what I thought would happen in my life. They're all things that have allowed me to learn how to experience my life exactly the way that I want to, and I hope it inspires you to do that same thing.
Speaker 1:All right, so let's dive in. The first thing that I never expected was to be feeling so focused on how I wanted to experience my life. So, as all of you know, that's what this podcast is about, and over the last few years I mean throughout my whole life health has always been something I've always worked out. It's always been in our family. I've talked about it before in previous podcasts, and so that was kind of always ingrained into me. But it's almost like I'm finding my sweet spot now and there's several reasons for that.
Speaker 1:Right, I'm watching what I'm putting in my body. In fact, I started using this product called Magic Mind and it is actually this little one shot. I take it in the morning and it is made with matcha, nootropics, ashwagandha, turmeric, lion's mane, cordyceps and other aptogens that are proven to improve your focus and memory, your productivity, reduce inflammation, sharper brain functioning and give you that clean, non-jittery energy that will just have you feeling like you've slayed the day all day long, and many of you know that for a while it's been a struggle for me with menopause and perimenopause and just having that feeling like I'm losing focus. So I've really focused on what I've been putting into my body and things that are also easy for me to incorporate into my daily living. I don't want to take the time to learn something new right now. I don't. I just want to create more ease in my life and I can just pull this little magic mind shot out of my fridge, I shake it up, I drink it first thing in the morning and then I am saying like, hey, this is what's good for my body, I'm getting it the nutrients it needs, I'm giving it those aptogens and mushrooms that have proven to help me over and over again with my focus and my mood and, honestly, also working on my gut health. So if you're someone who wants to improve your productivity but maybe not always go, go, go, go go, but just know that you have this confidence of like, well, I'm getting this done, I have the energy to move in the way that I want to, I have the focus to move in the way that I want to, to finish the things I want. I'm not so scattered Then I would really encourage you to try this product Magic Mind and you actually can use my code and get 20% off. I'll make sure to put it in the comments of this podcast in the description. You can use my code ROADRADICAL20, that's R-O-A-D-R-A-D-I-C-A-L 20 at wwwmagicmindcom forward slash road radical. So let me say that to you one more time that is magicmindcom forward slash road radical. With the code RO A, d, r, a, d, I, c, a L 20 for your 20% discount. So that's going taking us all the way full circle.
Speaker 1:Back to number one is the feeling of focus and how I want to experience my life. Right now, I am so focused on how I'm experiencing it. So many people have told me Rachel, that's selfish. Rachel, it's all about you. Yes, it's all about me. This is my life and people can have their opinions about that, but at the age now of 52 and three days, I'm not willing to waste any more time and I've never been so focused on how I want to experience my life. Okay, the second thing is is that I never expected to still be having my period and bleeding at age 52. I mean, listen, I've been an overachiever my whole entire life. You know, tell me if you can relate and I started perimenopause at 40.
Speaker 1:And I remember walking into the doctor and I said I think I'm perimenopausal and she looks at me because I see this doctor. I saw this doctor like maybe once a year, once every other year because my health has been good, and she's like, oh, you're too young, that's not what you're experiencing. And at that moment I was like you don't get to say what I'm experiencing. I'm telling you, I need you to listen to me, and so at that moment in time, she's like that's not what it is. So I was like, okay, well, I'm going to go to somebody else.
Speaker 1:So if I started perimenopause at 40, I'm 52. Theoretically, the time is 10 years. Why am I not fucking done with it? I'm over it, I'm done, I don't want to worry about it and I get the use of it and at the same time, it's like I don't want it. So that is something I didn't expect. I also didn't expect to have all of the perimenopause and menopause symptoms that I've had, because I thought it was taking really great to care of myself, which is what I was doing. I was not overweight at those times, I was working out, I was eating super healthy, super clean, and yet it's like having this compassion for my body right now and learning to love it on so many different levels, right?
Speaker 1:So number three is not really caring about TMI, too much information, and how that has helped me learn how I want to be expressing myself, not only in the outside world but in my personal life, right? And the fact of the matter is is that I have never experienced such good sex as I do now in my life and I've always been someone that has been sexual and sexually driven. And you hear all these stories and you do the search on YouTube, because I did the search on YouTube what to expect at 52. And it lists all the perimenopause symptoms. All the things that are going to quote unquote go wrong and I think that a lot of us at this age have do not talk about how much sex um is good for us and how much we love it and how much we want it. Now maybe your sex drive is different, and that's totally fine.
Speaker 1:Sex changes, but also it changes in such the best ways, right. When you get so comfortable in your skin, when you know how your body works and what it wants, you're willing to try things that maybe you were never willing to try before. Maybe all of those limiting beliefs, all of the shame, judgment, all those things your religious background, whatever, has taught you you shouldn't enjoy and you're like, well, holy shit, I enjoy it and I'm not a bad person for it, right? So the, the quality, the quantity, the, the freaking mind blowing spiritualness of the sex I get to have now was something that I wasn't ever expecting. All right, number four is not so much of a like oh my God, it's so great. Like a number four is something that I'm going to do a like oh my God, it's so great. Number four is something that I'm going to do a podcast its own podcast about.
Speaker 1:But I never expected, at 52, to be so distant from my child and there's been. I had her when I was really young. There was a lot of trauma there. She experienced a lot of trauma that I didn't know about. She's also experienced things I had no idea about and when we had kind of grown up together. I had her when I was 19 and a lot of moving around all the things. But I never expected to not be talking to her and we haven't really spoken for the last few years and it's been on and off previous to that.
Speaker 1:And as a therapist of over 25 years now, when you have mental health in your family, especially with your children, it can be really challenging and I was talking to a woman yesterday and she has been separated from her child. She had her child when she was young. You know her child went off and did their own thing and you know there's a lot of guilt that comes with this. There's a lot of what we're supposed to be doing as moms, what we should have done back then, what we shouldn't have done. You know all the things, and so I just wanted to share with you that this was something I never thought I would experience. I don't need any advice about it. You know I've done all the things. It is the situation that it is and it will continue to come out and be what it's supposed to be, and I'm open to just letting that happen.
Speaker 1:But it was something that I never expected at age 52, to feel or even still kind of experiencing. All right, so that was number four. Number five I no longer feel bad about saying no like ever. This is something that you know. I was grown up making sure I said yes in all the ways and no when something was, honestly, when I was told to say no to it, and so this whole no longer feeling bad about saying no is really about being honest. I'm having that internal safety, no longer needing to seek the validation, the approval, the social constructs, the things that I was taught, repeating those same patterns that aren't helpful for me anymore, and saying no has become a really just normal thing.
Speaker 1:I had someone say to me yesterday hey, can we meet on Sunday? Can I get a card reading from you, can I? You know, I really need this. Blah, blah blah. And honestly, tomorrow's my birthday party. Sunday, we're packing all day to leave for Chicago. We have things going on Monday's my actual birthday and I said, you know what? I don't think I'm going to be able to do it. There's so many things and it feels let me know if you can relate but it feels so good just to be like I don't, I don't always have to be there for everyone. It's okay for me to be like no, it's not, it's not going to work for me. And it's not like no, fuck, no, like I don't have any more fucks to give, I don't care about anything. It's not that. It's more like, hey, you know what? Maybe it'll work out a different time, but right now it's not going to work out for me. And to walk away with no negative feelings in my body, to send that text and not be thinking or have the thought of, well we should have, well we could have, like all that's gone, and part of that is due to the healing I've done and this creation of internal safety and saying I don't have to get defensive to say no, I don't have to have all this self-doubt when I say no, I don't have to have all the guilt. When I say no, I can feel okay, I can feel good about myself, I can have this moment and truly, truly feel grounded in my body, and it was such. It's such an aha moment. Every single time the other thing that happens is you begin to notice who you are as you say no. So that's been another beautiful process, all right.
Speaker 1:Number six the sixth thing I was not expecting was to have the kind of relationship I have with my mom. So lots of things happen throughout life. There's been lots of circumstances, there've been lots of things, but my mom and I recently, over the last two years, have just created this enormous connection and bond that we've never had before, and I think part of that was is that so busy? We are so busy in life surviving, we are so busy trying to. I mean, my mom was always that person that worked. She made the money, she brought in the money. My dad did too, and yet at one point in time he was unemployed for a really long time and she worked and she made it happen and she taught us how to cook and she taught us all those things. But the relationship now with my mom is is so different. It is so um I don't know the word like it's so respectful, it's so like in awe of her. So, oh, I just just so much gratitude, like I don't know. My heart feels really big right now and it's just like I get to experience her in a whole different way.
Speaker 1:And this is what probably makes number four a little bit more difficult, about me being distant with my kid. You know, my mom is 76 and it's not like she's going to die anytime soon. We don't think. But you know, things happen and as you get older you realize the mortality of life and what, what am I leaving here? What has my life been about? And it's almost like she's shown me and our healing of our relationship has been so good for both of us. And so it's kind of like I'm not really worried about her leaving this earth, her dying. What I'm more focused on is how do we get to experience each other right now and how good that can be right, and how good that can be right, even the simple things like when she comes and visits or when I go and visit her, like we'll just hold hands. I've never really held my mom's hand I mean, yes, when I was super little, but I've never had that. And now we get to have that and I'm really freaking, freaking, loving it. So it brings tears to my eyes. Yep, it's normal, don't worry, it's everything's fine All right.
Speaker 1:So number seven is I didn't expect to have such deep relationships that I've craved my whole entire life. A lot of my life has been making sure I was protecting myself. Four years ago, five years ago, I'm like I'm done Because of the work I do. You can't get kind of close to the people that you work with. There's boundaries, there's all these kinds of things and those are all great.
Speaker 1:But when I transferred over into doing things a little bit differently in my business, I decided I wanted to have relationships, I wanted to have deeper connections with people and five years ago I really started building that in my personal life and in my business. You know, I've been an unattacher for a really long time due to trauma and everything else, and then part of me was like I'm done with that. You know that's not something I want anymore, and I started intentionally working and now it's almost like these people that I have in my life, these people that are my closest and deepest friends. I know they will be there till the day I die and that, to me, is, like you know, and it's allowing myself to experience that right, allowing myself to receive this, allowing myself to receive the things that, honestly, I never thought were possible, and that's part of this, like to receive the things that, honestly, I never thought were possible, and that's part of this like, of course, lifestyle. Well, of course this good thing is happening to me. Of course I'm already aware of this, of course this, and you find yourself being like, oh my gosh, of course I'm living the life that I want. Of course I'm experiencing the things that I want. It can be material things, it can be internal, spiritual things, it can be a way of being in your life, ie experiencing it the way that you want. It's really just a phenomenal thing to have such deep, close relationships, relationships, which leads to number eight is to have, you know, allowing people to show such love to me and for me. How are you at receiving friend? How are you at allowing people, how are you at allowing people to share their beauty with you, their goodness with you, their love with you, their generosity with you, their gratitude with you, their experiences with you. You know, over the last couple of years, my life has exponentially expanded with people who have offered me beautiful, beautiful gifts.
Speaker 1:One that happened that I won't ever forget was after I was speaking on stage at the Go Red event in Redding, california, and Alexis Asby walked up to me and says hey, you want to go and stay at this villa with me in Costa Rica. And it was like in those moments I was working on receiving and I was like well, we're headed to Scotland, receiving again, we're headed to Scotland, but when I get back, I'd love to check in with you. And I went. So many things have come to me in the form of abundance because I have done the healing work that allows me to receive, to receive the growth and the compliments and the gratitude from other people for the work I do, right To receive money. That was totally unexpected. To receive the time to sit outside and sit in the sun, even the smaller things it doesn't always have to be the big things, but it's really. I want to empower you If you struggle to receive and if you're feeling like there's fear and scarcity and lack in your life and there's never enough, there is enough and it's going to take some healing. It's going to take releasing subconscious beliefs you have no idea that you have. It's going to take you being willing to go a little bit deeper within yourself and love all these parts and accept them all and see how they've helped you and then heal them so that then you can be experiencing life the way you want. If you want to receive, those are the things that are so helpful to be doing in life and it's something I do every day. Right, working on that. Receiving All right.
Speaker 1:Number nine is I didn't expect to have helped the thousands of people heal and experience so they can live a whole new life. I had no idea it's from going from this person that was told she had to do this and had to do this and believed all those things, to really stepping into my own in that moment after I was fired in corporate America and I said I'm turning this sensitivity into a superpower. So fuck all of you. Oh, and I'm going to make money at it at the same time. Like that was it for me. I was like that was the moment when I got that, that gumption like in that movie, the Holiday, right, and it's like Kate's watching all of the things and these female actresses who have gumption and in that moment I was like I'm turning this into something that I want to experience in my life and it's so funny that now that I look back I can see how I've been working towards experiencing my life exactly the way that I want to and the things that have helped propel me to do that Right and so. But I didn't expect to have such a huge impact in the world. I didn't think that was going to be me. I thought I was going to just be like, okay, get a job, do the thing, and none of that really worked out for me and I'm so glad it didn't. So this is another level of that self-trust. But it's been such a blessing and such a beautiful all these thousands and thousands and thousands of beautiful moments with clients that they have trusted me, they have allowed me to see them, they've allowed themselves to see themselves and to literally change the trajectory of their whole entire life. It's been fucking phenomenal, right? Okay, so now we're down to number 10.
Speaker 1:I never thought I would become an influencer, a content creator, influencer, midlife model All right. That last part maybe some of you didn't know about yet, but it's all in process and progress, right? I never thought I would put myself out in front of people. I always knew I was meant for bigger things. I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be heard. Like so many of you out there, we want to be seen and heard, and instead of doing it because we're lacking something, we do it because we see who we are. We see the people that we are and we want and know that we have something to offer and trust ourselves in offering that thing. So, pivoting and becoming an influencer and a plus size midlife model has been something that was not expected and yet has been something that I am freaking loving so, so much, and I cannot wait to keep going on this adventure, right From the shy girl, from the girl that was always crying, from the girl who hit her body, from the girl who thought her body was never right.
Speaker 1:I was never skinny, all the skinny girls.
Speaker 1:I never had the clothes, I only had my clothes. All the things that have affected me up until recent years, and it's just like the freeing that this sensitive side, this emotional side, this level of self-trust, internal safety I call it ultimate self-trust, right? All of these things are allowing me to break my own rules. And if you looked at the email that went out, the newsletter that went out this week, it was all about like, what era are you in? Because one of my clients said I'm in my returning to my body era and it was such a beautiful session. I was like, holy shit, this is what I get to do. And so in that newsletter I'll put the link below so you guys can sign up if you're not already. But in that newsletter I'll put the link below so you guys can sign up if you're not already. But in that newsletter I talked about, my era is breaking the rules era, and it's even breaking my own rules and seeing how much further I want to go, how much more can I experience in this way that I want to.
Speaker 1:Well, that's a lot, friend, we're at, we're hitting the end, and I hope that some of this encourages you to start defining what you have been able to experience and what you thought you would never be able to experience, at whatever age you're at, and if you're finding yourself struggling and being like how come I can't have that? What's wrong with me? All of those kinds of thoughts that come in your head like if I could only have that it would be better. I want you to tell you that you can experience your life exactly the way you want. It takes a minute to be able to do that, though it's not always something that you're going to turn around right away. I wish it could always be that. Actually, I don't. I don't Because in this journey, you discover who you really are, who you want to be right now, and you move towards that which then you experience the life that you want.
Speaker 1:It's time to stop sacrificing. It's time to stop saying I can't do that. Maybe you say instead I haven't done that yet. Maybe, instead of noticing all the things that are going wrong and I'm not saying false, toxic positivity here but you say this is where I'm not experiencing life the way they want. What do I want to experience? And then what do I need to do to experience that? And then you create this ultimate self-trust to where you move towards that in small increments, every single day.
Speaker 1:Our brains don't handle big, huge changes. That's why death is so difficult. That's why large transitions, changing jobs, it takes a minute. Give yourself a minute, friend. Give yourself a minute. That's abundance. Giving yourself moments to be like what is it that I'm wanting and then take the action right. Don't sit in contemplation. Contemplation does not create clarity. Decision creates clarity.
Speaker 1:All right, friend, I'd love to hear what your takeaway has been from this. Let me know. You can reach out to me on any of my social medias. You can also reach out to me at rachel, at rachel freeman's hourscom. I'd love to hear what your takeaways are for this podcast, and I hope that this has inspired you again to experience your life exactly the way you want to know that it is within your reach. There's different things that need to happen for different people, but it is within your reach, my friend.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to end this podcast and episode like I end every single episode. Please make sure to stay true to yourself, be kind to others and always, always, always, honor the wise one that is within you. I'll see you all on the flip side. Until then, bye. Just a little bit more. Please rate and leave a review. I'm here, and I know you are too, to leave a positive impact in the world. So please share this episode with your friends, family or that random stranger, because you never know who you'll inspire by just being you. I'll see you on the next road to radical visibility. Bye.